We are almost done with the NaBloPoMo. I loved most of the prompts, and some of them made me think a lot. Like the one on November 21st: What is the one thing you wish people better understood about something in your life?
Today's prompt brought me back to some of the most scary weeks of my life so far. Todays prompt is:
What was your most embarrassing or scary trip to the doctor?
I can't really recall the exact date/month, but I know it was about 4 years ago. I take my cancer checkups at my OB GYN very serious and never miss one. I was still living in Germany back then, when my doctor was doing my breast exam - and stopped at one point. And then she said she wanted to do an ultrasound... And I knew that's not a good sign.
My mom passed away from breast cancer, and my grandma died of cancer as well. So I am always scared when it comes to situations like that.
My doctor told me there was a little lump in my left breast we should keep an eye on. My left breast... Exactly the same breast my mom's cancer started.
She told me it could be just a cyst, or it could just be because it's a certain day in my cycle. Then she told me not to panic, and that we would wait 3 weeks to check it again and probably get a mammogram.
(FYI: In Germany doctor's don't send young women to get a mammogram right away, since the radiation can cause breast cancer as well)
So here we are. Or better: Here I am. Not knowing anything for three weeks. Three long weeks of thinking. Overthinking. Panicking. What ifs. Not wanting to call your sisters to get support, because you don't want to scare them as well...
Those three weeks were like hell. I could't focus on work. I was even scared to work out. I don't even know why. Thinking whatever it is in my breast could pop open and spread through my body. I was just in "functioning mode".
So the appointment three weeks later was my most scary trip to the doctor ever. 100%.
She did another breast exam, could't feel anything. So she did another ultrasound, and there was nothing. It was just a cyst, that disappeared again. I was so relieved, I cried.
Thank God this was my scariest trip to a doctor so far. And I hope I won't have any more scary trips to doctors ever again.