It's Thursday! Almost Friday, means: The well-deserved weekend is close! Hallelujah! Any fun plans?
Lately I have so much on my mind but I find it hard to put it in words. Do you know that feeling?
I will just list two of the things and try to let you look in to the maze of my thoughts:
1// Love grows!M is away for 32 days now. Yes, I am counting ;o)! I miss him a lot, every day. But I love our hours and hours of Skype dates, when we talk and talk or even watch "The Amazing Race" together! By the way: He picked the doctor twins (baaaaad choice since they are out of the race already ;oD and I pickd the couple from SoCal (it's a bad sign that I don't remember their names yet).
The good part about having a long-distance-relationship for a few weeks is, that you really start missing your better half. Yes, even the stinky socks. The butterflies in my belly are multiplying and multiplying. I love him more and more, and I can't wait to visit Arkansas very very soon. by the way: Any bloggers around Texarkana/Camden, well, Arkansas and Texas round here reading? Let me know if you wanna meet up!
2// I can't stand hardliners. No matter which group they belong to!I made the "mistake" to put a prayer request on one of the cards in my church. Why I call it a mistake?
I wrote down that I am suffering from a bad episode of depression right now and that I would be happy if my fellow church members would pray for me. No mistake so far.
But: One of the people from the intercessory prayer group tagged me in a picture-post about depression on Facebook, so now everyone on HER friendlist could see and read about my current suffering.
And then there came along some teenage hardline christians. And no, I don't mean that in a good way. So those little smartbutts battling each other about who is more saved by Christ and who is more blessed and why - not knowing ANYTHING about my disease, my life, and the long story of suffering I've been through so far, started smartbutting around about I should just stop taking my medication and put my depression into God's hands. Ummmm. Ok.
No! It is REALLY dangerous to just go ahead and throw away 3 different medications. I have tried to stop taking any meds for a couple of months, and then I fell deep... Really deep into a major episode of the worst case depressions ever.
FYI: I suffer from "endogenous depression" that hits you out of nowhere. No reason, no weather, nothing happens... It just appears and drowns you. That makes it so hard to handle, cause if you know something has happened and you are in risk of having another episode, you can do something about it, work against it!
I am christian. I LOVE God. I know prayers DO move mountains. I put my life in God's hands - but I also know when it is a good choice to trust in God's creations, aka human beings, who researched forever, being the best doctors you could wish for! And yes, medicine as well.
I wish I could share some of these stupid replies from Facebook on here. But I won't. Why spread the stupidity...?
I guess as long as there are people who think they can "pray the gay away", I understand other people being sceptical about me and other people being religious. But trust me: I have a God-given common sense. God gave me a brain to use it. And some people should try it, too.
This fits the whole situation pretty well: My fave quote of "The Prodigal God" ...
"If, like the elder brother, you believe that God ought to bless you and help you because you have worked so hard to obey him and be a good person, then Jesus may be your helper, your example, even your inspiration, but he is not your Savior. You are serving as your own Savior."