Grapefruitprincess ReLoaded: Scener ur ett äktenskap

Monday, April 13, 2015

Scener ur ett äktenskap

Just in case you are wondering: The title is Swedish - and I stole it from a 1973 tv-series-turned-movie, directed by the dear Ingmar Bergman. The english translation would be "Scenes from a Marriage". This makes me feel so super european, since I bet no one over here ever heard of all this... You might want to check it out though!

Anywho - I guess what I'm actually about to share, is something familiar to some of you. But first let me share the plot summary of "Scenes from a Marriage", thanks to imdb.com:


"Ten years of Marianne and Johan's relationship are presented. We first meet them ten years into their marriage. He is a college professor, she a divorce lawyer. They say that they are happily married - unlike their friends Katarina and Peter who openly fight, especially when under the influence of alcohol - but there is a certain detached aloofness in the way they treat each other. In the next ten years, as they contemplate or embark upon divorce and/or known extramarital affairs, they come to differing understandings at each phase of their relationship of what they truly mean to each other. Regardless of if it's love or hate - between which there is a fine line - they also come to certain understandings of how they can best relate to each other, whether that be as husband and wife, friends, lovers or none of the above."

Well... To get to the point and the "Scenes from MY Marriage" right away: in this house, we struggle a lot lately. We argue a lot. We actually live 2 different lives. I work, work out, spend time outside enjoying spring, going on road trips... And he? Not so.

Since I've started dating M, his smart-pants-ness has lead us into some major difficulties. Every job he started since he left the Army has ended in a... ummmm... not so nice way. And yes, him talking back and always wanting to be right was the major issue (I would say) 95% of the time. Sure there were some other reasons, but the talking back was always a part.

So, M resigned, or they made him resign (I really don't even know) as a Police officer at the local PD a little while ago. After me reading the evaluation reports, and telling my husband that THIS is EXACTLY what I keep telling him all the time, things are not nice anymore.

Newsflash: I speak the truth. I am not sugarcoating stuff. If you mess something up, I will tell you. And yes, I expect you to do the same as well!

What adds up to the tense situation at this casa is, that since the day he left the job, he is doing nothing. Nada. Nix. Niente. He is watching news all day, doing puzzles, playing xBox. That's it. So I leave for work, come back home. No meal, no laundry was taken out of the dryer, not bed made..... I could continue this list.

I was working this weekend as well. Saturday I came home, asking what he had done all day. His answer: "I was doing the dishes!". Let me show you the AFTER pic. Yes, this is AFTER he has done the dishes:


This is just an example. And the worst part? If I try to talk to him - at one point I might mess up the pronunciation of an english word. Then he picks it up, laughing and repeating it, making fun of my German accent, which ticks me off.
FYI: He did not learn any German while being stationed in Germany. Which is one of the reasons we've had to come over here, so it's easier for him to find a job in the economy.

All this feels so freakin familiar because his smartness keeps bringing us into the same situation over and over again... Now it's only me working again. And doing all the housework... I don't know where all this leads, but right now I know it leads nowhere good. I'm tired of this scenario happening over and over again. I am always fighting, I am always working towards goals...

I spent more time at the tracks, the gym, or just somewhere but the house lately... It might be time for counseling, but first it's time for someone in this house to start working again. And it's not the cat.


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1 comment :

  1. Hey. No linkup this week? I haven't seen that movie but I'll check it out. I'm movie watching at nights these days.
    My wknd post at http://runwright.net/2015/04/13/m-is-for-memories/

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading them all and will try my best to answer all of your questions. If you would like to contact me for a quicker response please feel free to tweet me at (@grfrprincess), message me on Instagram (@anni_s) or email me. ~Anni

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Scener ur ett äktenskap

Just in case you are wondering: The title is Swedish - and I stole it from a 1973 tv-series-turned-movie, directed by the dear Ingmar Bergman. The english translation would be "Scenes from a Marriage". This makes me feel so super european, since I bet no one over here ever heard of all this... You might want to check it out though!

Anywho - I guess what I'm actually about to share, is something familiar to some of you. But first let me share the plot summary of "Scenes from a Marriage", thanks to imdb.com:


"Ten years of Marianne and Johan's relationship are presented. We first meet them ten years into their marriage. He is a college professor, she a divorce lawyer. They say that they are happily married - unlike their friends Katarina and Peter who openly fight, especially when under the influence of alcohol - but there is a certain detached aloofness in the way they treat each other. In the next ten years, as they contemplate or embark upon divorce and/or known extramarital affairs, they come to differing understandings at each phase of their relationship of what they truly mean to each other. Regardless of if it's love or hate - between which there is a fine line - they also come to certain understandings of how they can best relate to each other, whether that be as husband and wife, friends, lovers or none of the above."

Well... To get to the point and the "Scenes from MY Marriage" right away: in this house, we struggle a lot lately. We argue a lot. We actually live 2 different lives. I work, work out, spend time outside enjoying spring, going on road trips... And he? Not so.

Since I've started dating M, his smart-pants-ness has lead us into some major difficulties. Every job he started since he left the Army has ended in a... ummmm... not so nice way. And yes, him talking back and always wanting to be right was the major issue (I would say) 95% of the time. Sure there were some other reasons, but the talking back was always a part.

So, M resigned, or they made him resign (I really don't even know) as a Police officer at the local PD a little while ago. After me reading the evaluation reports, and telling my husband that THIS is EXACTLY what I keep telling him all the time, things are not nice anymore.

Newsflash: I speak the truth. I am not sugarcoating stuff. If you mess something up, I will tell you. And yes, I expect you to do the same as well!

What adds up to the tense situation at this casa is, that since the day he left the job, he is doing nothing. Nada. Nix. Niente. He is watching news all day, doing puzzles, playing xBox. That's it. So I leave for work, come back home. No meal, no laundry was taken out of the dryer, not bed made..... I could continue this list.

I was working this weekend as well. Saturday I came home, asking what he had done all day. His answer: "I was doing the dishes!". Let me show you the AFTER pic. Yes, this is AFTER he has done the dishes:


This is just an example. And the worst part? If I try to talk to him - at one point I might mess up the pronunciation of an english word. Then he picks it up, laughing and repeating it, making fun of my German accent, which ticks me off.
FYI: He did not learn any German while being stationed in Germany. Which is one of the reasons we've had to come over here, so it's easier for him to find a job in the economy.

All this feels so freakin familiar because his smartness keeps bringing us into the same situation over and over again... Now it's only me working again. And doing all the housework... I don't know where all this leads, but right now I know it leads nowhere good. I'm tired of this scenario happening over and over again. I am always fighting, I am always working towards goals...

I spent more time at the tracks, the gym, or just somewhere but the house lately... It might be time for counseling, but first it's time for someone in this house to start working again. And it's not the cat.


 photo Footer.png
 

1 comment :

  1. Hey. No linkup this week? I haven't seen that movie but I'll check it out. I'm movie watching at nights these days.
    My wknd post at http://runwright.net/2015/04/13/m-is-for-memories/

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading them all and will try my best to answer all of your questions. If you would like to contact me for a quicker response please feel free to tweet me at (@grfrprincess), message me on Instagram (@anni_s) or email me. ~Anni