Christmas: The Aftermath

Hooray! You all survived the holidays! And so did I! Pictured above is the food I MADE. Yes, I cooked. Nope, no one died. #nailedit

The company I work for gave every employee a turkey for Christmas. Or a ham, but since I don't eat pork, the decision was easy...

For an expat, the holiday season is the toughest time of the year. Being away from family, best friends, and all the traditions is hard. I have shed a countless amount of tears during the past couple of days. Who am I fooling... WEEKS! Actually, I've just cried at Starbucks, cause I opened my mailbox and there was an e-mail from my uncle. I'm a crybaby lately.

Since my personal life is far from rainbows and unicorns right now (I'll be moving out in a few weeks), I felt extra lonely this year. Oh and have I mentioned my niece? She was born in July, and I haven't met her, smooched her, held her yet,... nothing. It breaks my heart.

Just like last year, me and my family used FaceTime to hang out on Christmas Eve. FYI: In Germany, the BIG Christmas day is Christmas eve. That's when Santa, or in our case: the Christkind, brings the gifts, the whole family gathers around the tree, and eats potato salad & hotdogs for dinner. Well, my family does. So no one has to spent a whole lot of time in the kitchen while everyone else celebrates.

Only one of my siblings' gifts made it to the USA on time, so here is what my sister and her son gave me for Christmas:

My MacBook might be just as happy as I am now!! Well, my sister asked what I want for Christmas, so... I love this pouch! I love the design, and that it comes with a little bag for the cord.
My nephew made me some (unintentionally PG-rated :oD) candles at his daycare. I died laughing when I unpacked the big one! He is such a sweetheart though. I miss him so much!

I got my other Christmas gift little early, 13 days early: Tickets for a NBA game in Houston.

If you follow my blog for a little, or read THIS or THIS post, you might know I'm a HUGE Los Angeles Lakers fan. Always been! Kobe is one heck of a player, so it was MUST for me to see him playing LIVE again before he retires by the end of the season.

I will share a recap of the trip to Houston, Galveston, and the game later this week!

What did Santa drop off for you this year??

  

Life Lately

This quote is 100% me right now. Life throws curveballs. And I've learned to dunk them. Being miserable doesn't change anything. It just makes everything worse. And at one point a couple of weeks ago, I was done being miserable. I was done being belittled, and I was done being abused.

Long story short: You've all read about the shitty times I've went through in my marriage. So at one point shit hit the fan, and now we are separated. Still living in the same house, but he has his bedroom, and I have my rooms. It works pretty well - but I can't wait until the day the lease is up an I can move into my own place. At least we can communicate like human beings again. Well, that is if we talk. But we don't talk much. Which is ok.

As you can probably tell, I am currently not spending much time at home. Easy, since I work a lot lately (got promoted to a director position). When I'm not working, I'm probably working out. Running. Or I'm on the road. My car is my best buddy lately, and we go places. I think a lot while driving. Not sure if this is a good thing though.

So right now I'm sitting at a Starbucks in Bossier City, LA. I've spent the day with my friend's kids at a waterpark, just dropped them off again, and now finally taking the time to blog. Personal stuff. I owed you gys an update - and it doesn't hurt to sit down, breath, and reminisce about what actually happened.

People keep asking me if I will go back to Germany now. But right now, I won't. I don't have the power to give up everything again. Do you know how tough building a whole new life is? It drains you. Physically, and emotionally. I don't have the power to pack up again. I don't want to built a new home. I don't want to give up this job, and all the friends and coworkers I really really love. SO, for now, I will just stay in this little town in southern Arkansas. I will keep living this crazy life as an expat.

Let's see what the future holds.

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Scener ur ett äktenskap

Just in case you are wondering: The title is Swedish - and I stole it from a 1973 tv-series-turned-movie, directed by the dear Ingmar Bergman. The english translation would be "Scenes from a Marriage". This makes me feel so super european, since I bet no one over here ever heard of all this... You might want to check it out though!

Anywho - I guess what I'm actually about to share, is something familiar to some of you. But first let me share the plot summary of "Scenes from a Marriage", thanks to imdb.com:

"Ten years of Marianne and Johan's relationship are presented. We first meet them ten years into their marriage. He is a college professor, she a divorce lawyer. They say that they are happily married - unlike their friends Katarina and Peter who openly fight, especially when under the influence of alcohol - but there is a certain detached aloofness in the way they treat each other. In the next ten years, as they contemplate or embark upon divorce and/or known extramarital affairs, they come to differing understandings at each phase of their relationship of what they truly mean to each other. Regardless of if it's love or hate - between which there is a fine line - they also come to certain understandings of how they can best relate to each other, whether that be as husband and wife, friends, lovers or none of the above."

Well... To get to the point and the "Scenes from MY Marriage" right away: in this house, we struggle a lot lately. We argue a lot. We actually live 2 different lives. I work, work out, spend time outside enjoying spring, going on road trips... And he? Not so.

Since I've started dating M, his smart-pants-ness has lead us into some major difficulties. Every job he started since he left the Army has ended in a... ummmm... not so nice way. And yes, him talking back and always wanting to be right was the major issue (I would say) 95% of the time. Sure there were some other reasons, but the talking back was always a part.

So, M resigned, or they made him resign (I really don't even know) as a Police officer at the local PD a little while ago. After me reading the evaluation reports, and telling my husband that THIS is EXACTLY what I keep telling him all the time, things are not nice anymore.

Newsflash: I speak the truth. I am not sugarcoating stuff. If you mess something up, I will tell you. And yes, I expect you to do the same as well!

What adds up to the tense situation at this casa is, that since the day he left the job, he is doing nothing. Nada. Nix. Niente. He is watching news all day, doing puzzles, playing xBox. That's it. So I leave for work, come back home. No meal, no laundry was taken out of the dryer, not bed made..... I could continue this list.

I was working this weekend as well. Saturday I came home, asking what he had done all day. His answer: "I was doing the dishes!". Let me show you the AFTER pic. Yes, this is AFTER he has done the dishes:

This is just an example. And the worst part? If I try to talk to him - at one point I might mess up the pronunciation of an english word. Then he picks it up, laughing and repeating it, making fun of my German accent, which ticks me off.
FYI: He did not learn any German while being stationed in Germany. Which is one of the reasons we've had to come over here, so it's easier for him to find a job in the economy.

All this feels so freakin familiar because his smartness keeps bringing us into the same situation over and over again... Now it's only me working again. And doing all the housework... I don't know where all this leads, but right now I know it leads nowhere good. I'm tired of this scenario happening over and over again. I am always fighting, I am always working towards goals...

I spent more time at the tracks, the gym, or just somewhere but the house lately... It might be time for counseling, but first it's time for someone in this house to start working again. And it's not the cat.

 

Hiking Germany: Teufelsschlucht

I guess you can only cherish the nature around you, if you don't live in that area. This is how I feel about the landscapes in Germany. Since I'm living in AR/USA now, I see my old hometown, the surroundings, and especially the nature with different eyes. It is a beautiful place on this earth, and I am trying to squeeze in as many hikes as possible while I'm on vacation in Trier.
One day after I landed in Germany, 2 of my sisters, my little 9 year old nephew and I went on a hike. The "Teufelsschlucht" (= Devil's Gorge) is located between the villages Irrel and Ernzen in the southern Eifel.  It's a big and wonderful mixed forest with a huge amount of strage rock formations:

"The "Teufelsschlucht" is a gorge like cleft in the rock, which was enigmatic for the lcoals. A normal gorge is formed by the erosion of a river, as a result the floor is continually going downwards, as the water flows downhill. But this gorge is different, as the floor on both ends is higher than in the centre. So the water would have flown in from both sides and vanished mysteriously. So the locals beliefed this gorge was not formed naturally but created by the devil. So it was named devils gorge. The sandstone in this area is called Luxemburger Sandstein and is from the Lower Jurassic or Lias. The calcreous sandstone was deposited some 190Ma ago at the northern coast of the Lias sea. The land mass to the north is called Ardennens Massif, and was the source of the sand. The area where those sandstones are found today is called Luxemburger Schweiz (Luxembourg Switzerland) and is about 330m asl. The sandstones are exceptionally thick in this area, because this once was the stuary of a river which brought huge amounts of sand with it an deposited them. Below the sandstone is a layer of marl from the Upper Triassic, locally called Keuper. This rock is water resistant and rather soft, and becomes a good lubricant (at least in geologic terms) if wet. The sandstone has cracks from the uplift, they are widened by erosion, and the weck basement lets huges chunks of rock slide slowly. This process was intensified at the end of the last ice age, some 10,000 yeras ago, when warm an humid climate and the melting water of the glaciers caused higher erosion. The result was the labyrinth of strange rocks caled Felsenmeer (sea of rocks). The gorge was formed by the separation of two chucks of rock for more than one meter and several subsequent rock falls."

via www.showcaves.com

 

Did you know you can find me on YouTube now as well? I'm just getting started. But I would be happy if you follow me on there as well! I made a little video of the hike. It's not super duper professional, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway. I'm still learning all this YouTube stuff.

It was a wonderful and exhausting hike. Since it was going up- and downhill all the time, it was a nice workout as well:

If you want to hike over here, in the beautiful USA - check out this article about

  Top 50 Long Distance Hiking Trails In The USA!

 

Life Lately // Vacation Update

Hello there! I just wanted to let you all know I made it to Germany in one piece. It was a loooong trip though, including an 8 hour overlay in London. I was so happy when I finally arrived in Frankfurt! I left Little Rock at 6am. First pit stop in Chicago (I LOVE O'Hare Airport!), and then across the big pond, London-bound.

My sister took this paparazzi snapshot of me. I just closed my eyes for 5 minutes. I promise.

I was cheap when I was booking the flight. That's why I had the 8 hours overlay in London. It wouldn't have been all that bad, but almost every single shop and restaurant was closed. I was a little surprised about everything being closed, since Heathrow is such a huge airport! Even the "Heathrow Express", the train connecting the terminals, was closed for the night. So I had to find the Night Bus stop, and wait 30 minutes to get on a (doubledecker) bus to my departure terminal 5. All this after 2 flights and hours and hours of traveling. Sucks.

Luckily there was a "Marks & Spencer" open at terminal 5, so I stacked up on water, fruit, and vegetables for the night. So I was just sitting there, watching "2 Broke Girl$", eating, drinking, people watching, all night, waiting for the security check-in to open at 5:30am the next morning.

The 3rd and last flight was from London to Frankfurt. Guess who fell asleep even before the plane took off? Yep, this gurrl. I slept the whole flight, only woke up once, when the flight attendant was trying to hand me a croissant. But then I fell back asleep and woke up seconds before we touched down in good old Germany.

The first 3-4 days were like hell, jetlag wise. I was so super sleepy! Now it's been 10 days already, and slowly I'm getting used to the German time zone again.

Watch out for some more posts from my time in Germany! 

And I have an awesome guest post coming up!

 

Expat Problem Solved: Access Hulu+ (and other sites) From Every Country

As you guys probably know by now: M and I are huge TV junkies. Since we don't like commercial breaks, waiting week/s before watching the next episode, or buying DVD box sets for $$ and only watching them once, we decided to get a Hulu+ account. And man, do we love it! We don't even have cable or satellite TV yet! 

The bad part about being an expat, traveling back and forth from USA to Europe: We can't use our Hulu+ while being abroad. The smartypants internet realizes we are using a non-US IP, and booooom: BLOCKED!

I will be going to visit family in Germany mid June, and I will stay 3 weeks. Since I will be on vacation, and my family and friends will probably be working during the day, I was very, very happy to get the opportunity to check out Tunnelbear.com so I will be able to use Hulu - and I will share my opinion with you in this little review!

TunnelBear is an app that makes it really easy to browse the internet like you're in another country. More than 2 million people have used TunnelBear to unblock websites like Hulu, Netflix, and Pandora.

There are many reasons why you might want to use TunnelBear.com, even if you are not a TV junkie like me:

• Unblock Pandora / Spotify when you’re traveling or out of the country
• Use TunnelBear to unblock sports feeds for Soccer, NHL, MLB and NFL
• Vote for contestants on reality shows when you’re outside the country
• Keep yourself safe while using public WIFI networks 

The best part: TunnelBear is available for your PC, Android devices, AND Apple devices!

Installing the app is as easy as 123. If not even easier: 

• Step 1: Download Tunnelbear for your iPad/iPhone //  Android Phone/Tablet // PC
• Step 2:Turn it on

Yep, that's it! There are some awesome YouTube videos that guide you through the whole installing process as well. Here goes an example, but you can check them all out here: CLICK!

And some screenshots from an Android device! I hope it helps :o)

Depending on how much data you intend to use, TunnelBear offers 3 different packages: 

• FREE – 500MBs of free data each and every month. You can also get a bonus 1GB of free data by participating in their twitter promotion. There is even a gauge that lets you know how many MBs you have used.
• Unlimited $4.99 per month - Have an iPad, iPhone or Android 4.01+ device? Purchase a TunnelBear on your PC or Mac and you will also receive unlimited tunnelling on two additional mobile devices!
• $49.99 per year – Pay for 1 year of unlimited service and you will save 17%. Your service will NOT be automatically renewed.

Great deal! What would or WILL you use TunnelBear for?

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post from Tunnelbear.com with my unbiased thoughts.

 

Are you enjoying your weekend?

Happy Saturday!

I hope you guys are enjoying your weekends?

I am sitting at our new dining room table typing this. You can't even imagine how happy I am to finally have a place to sit down and do stuff. I found it at a yard sale group on Facebook for a greal deal! And they were so nice and even delivered it to our house this morning, since we don't have a truck.

One of the chairs

This is a picture of the dining room set (bad one - off Facebook)

The couch is fine, but after a while it is just messing up my back. Our household goods are scheduled to arrive in New York on 9th of April. Hopefully the whole customs process will go smooth. FYI: The car still didn't make it to us yet.... I am really mad.

Since I don't work, I have pretty "adventurous" days so far. I walk around El Dorado a lot - which is a real adventure already, because sidewalks either don't exist, or are death traps...
The city is lovely though! I already have a favorite coffee spot: PJ's!

Oh and I sure love the fact, that the Stadium is so close to our house! I go there a lot to run,/work out to loose some of my 40 extra pounds I feel I gained since quitting smoking 10 months ago. Also I have to train for my 5k run in Little Rock on Memorial Day weekend!!



It feels as if I'm in the worst shape ever... But I am fighting! And as soon as our stuff gets here, I will have all my Jillian Michaels DVDs, dum bells, and all the other workout stuff. Jillian makes it so much easier for me to get in shape...

I hope you are doing great!

Have a lovely weekend!

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