If you could redo one moment in your life, what would it be and why? How would it change who you are now?
I bet many of you would come up with a whole bunch of moments. For me, there's only one. Every other moment doesn't count. But this one: The morning of the day my mom passed away.
I want to redo this moment. I want to go back to this moment. And make everything right.
The morning of the day my mom passed away, she walked into my room to say goodbye. Her and my dad were about to head to the hospital for another cancer treatment. I don't know why, but we argued. I started it of course. I was just my stupid 14 year old self, knee deep in puberty, Misses Know-it-all...
Mom left. And little did I know this would be the last time I see her alive.
If I knew it, I wouldn't have let her go. I would have hugged her. Kissed her. Told her that I love her more than anything else the world. I would ask her all the questions I now need answers to. Because when you are 14 years old, AND when you are grown up, when you fall in love for the first time, when you decide to move across an ocean and get married... There are so many questions I want to ask her...
I miss her every day of my life. Not one day goes by without that pain in my heart. No decision is made without thinking "What would Mom say?"
This one morning that changed my whole life - it will haunt me until the end of my days though. And I will never forgive myself for starting an argument. I would give everything to go back to THIS moment, and redo it.
My mother passed away and it's the same for me, always wondering what she might think or say about something...no one to call to ask how to do something or what shoes go with this dress. I have taken pictures that I wanted to text her but I have no place to text them...
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't get any easier, right? ... Sending love your way!
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